This song reminds me of my weakness and how far I have gone from my Lord. When my daughter hit her head and suffers a concussion till today, (It happened on the 23 Feb. 2011 and it has since been 1 1/2 months. She is slowly recovering) I remember praying to God for quick healing. I remember asking Him why was He not healing her. Didn't He see her suffering. Yes, she had fainting spells and sharp headaches. And we went to the emergency ward at least 3 times in fear that there was internal bleeding or a cancerous tumour. I sat biting my nails when they sent her in for a CAT scan. I was so afraid that there was a cancerous tumour but my fear was put to rest yet she continuedto suffer and my anguish grew, wondering if God exists.
White hair sprung up over night and my pain and anger grew. I had no will to teach and my days were a drag. Every day I went to school in fear that I would receive another call from the school asking me to come to take her to the doctor. It was nightmare and I felt God was so so far away. But............ I clung on to Him because there was no one to turn to and finally I learn. I learnthat He answers in His own good time and He has a reason. He wants me to learn patience, trust and to have faith. Today, after 1 1/2 months, my daughter is slowly healing. There are days when she is free from headache and fainting spells and I know that God is working. And surely God is teaching me too, that He has not forsaken me.
It is so human to be impatient, to be sceptical, to be weak. And I also know that when there is no trouble, God is not even a tangible feeling. He is just a word. And it is also so odd that when trouble hits and He takes His time, He also seems to be so far, far away. But to know that my daughter is free from pain, I feel the deep, deep joy and love of God. Yes, He is real and He exist.
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